Gas Price Comparison

People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value, especially if you were to take the $0.30, $0.40 per gallon tax off at the pump. Obviously others need a little convincing. The article in this weeks "Auto Week" magazine brought it all to light. What if you were to buy a gallon of Diet Snapple 16 oz for $1.29  which is $10.32 per gallon, or Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1.19 which is $9.52 per gallon. Think about buying Gatorade 20 oz for $1.59 which is equal to $10.17 per gallon, Ocean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 equal to $10.00 per gallon, or a quart of Milk 16 oz for $1.59 that would be $6.32 per gallon. Evian water 9 oz for $1.49 is $21.19 per gallon, STP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3.15 would be $33.60 per gallon. Vicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8.35 is equal to $178.13 per gallon, Pepto Bismol 4 oz for $3.85 is equal to $123.20 per gallon, Whiteout 7 oz for $1.39 is equal to $254.17 per gallon and Scope 1.5 oz for $0.99 is equal to $84.84 per gallon So next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Nyquil or Scope or Whiteout!

Stupid Insults 15/31

• His brain could be the perfect dielectric.
• His brain was sold separately and they were out of stock.
• His brain would rattle around in a gnat's navel.
• His buffer is full.
• His clutch is slipping.
• His data bus stops for red lights.
• His deck has no face cards.
• His elevator is stuck between floors.
• His face is on a coin... On the edge.
• His family wasn't dysfunctional until he arrived.
• His freelist is empty.
• His gene line isn't just dead, it's extinct.
• His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons. -- Robin Williams
• His grey matter is brown / doesn't matter.
• His head whistles in a cross wind.
• His home planet is flat.
• His IQ is a false positive.
• His jack can't get the car off the ground.
• His mind is a few Hertz off its assigned frequency.
• His mind is great at error magnification.
• His mind is less substantial than the Emperor's new clothes.
• His mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime.
• His mind is write-protected/write-only.
• His mind reached escape velocity and achieved orbit.
• His mind wandered and never came back.
• His motto is: Space, the final frontier.
• His mouth rarely makes calls to his brain.
• His outgoing message starts with, "Hello, Mr. Answering Machine."
• His page was intentionally left blank.
• His picture is in the dictionary under "zero".

Doctors Slap Babies

Q: Why do doctors slap babies when they are born?
A: To knock the penises off the smart ones.