Senior Questions

What is the one thing that became more clear as you got older?
Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog.

Highway To Understanding

One day a man was walking along the beach when he found a bottle, when he opened it up a genie popped out. The genie said he could have one wish. The man thought about it a while then told the man that he was afraid of heights and got sea sick, but really wanted to go to Hawaii so he asked the genie to make a highway to Hawaii. "I don't know said the genie" that is really difficult. Do you have another request?" "Well, I really want to know all about women, you know, how they tick and why their the way they are!" The genie replied "Will that be two lanes or four?"

Printer Woes

Don't ever let your ink-jet printer know that you waited till the last minute to print something urgent. 
They can sense fear.