For Everything Else, There's Master Card

I was in line behind a guy buying condoms and his credit card was declined. 
A little old lady behind me whispered, 'He just got cock blocked by Visa...'

Amusing Marmosets

Q: How many marmosets does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 3. That's it, just 3. Go ahead, get 3 marmosets and try to prove me wrong.

Blonde Bedtime

Q: What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10 p.m.?
A: She goes home.