North Korea

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

For Everything Else, There's Master Card

I was in line behind a guy buying condoms and his credit card was declined. 
A little old lady behind me whispered, 'He just got cock blocked by Visa...'

Blonde Bedtime

Q: What does a blonde do if she's not in bed by 10 p.m.?
A: She goes home.