Same Response

My wife often complains to me when she's drunk. Last night she complained when she was sober.
Non alcoholic whine.

Grown Up Words

A teacher was teaching a class of five year olds and asked what they all did in the summer holidays. One boy said he got a ''choo-choo.'' The teacher said, "Please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is train." Another boy said he got a ''bow-wow.'' The teacher said please use the proper grown-up word for what you have done. The word is dog." Another boy said I got a ''Winnie the Shit.''

If Men Ruled The World - Drinking

• Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps.
• On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
• St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated monthly.
• Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."