Vampire Fruit

Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine!

Double Gum

I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.

Honeymoon

The newlyweds had decided to take Amtrak's "Car Train" to Florida, so they would have the mobility of being able to use their own vehicle on the honeymoon. They settled into one of the train's upper berths together and cuddled. As the nite progressed, the new bride was heard to say quite excitedly a number of times, "I just can't believe that we're finally married Kenny." After about the 3rd time in five minutes, a voice came out of the dark, "God dammit Kenny, Will you please convince her so we can all get some sleep?"