Clinton's Son

Q: What happened to Chelsea Clinton's younger brother?
A: Monica swallowed him!

Say Something Nice

A little old lady comes into the kitchen to talk to her husband and says, "Honey just look at me. My legs are heavy, thighs are getting big, and boobs are sagging. I could really use a compliment right about now." The husband replied, "You have really good eye - sight!"

Top Things You Should Not Say At A Funeral

• Geez, what died in here?
• She looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress.
• Nice service... where's the keg?
• When did he die... really... hey Bob, you won the pool!!!
• Hey, we're with the Publisher Clearing House Prize Patrol and we're looking for... oh, never mind.
• Don't look now Fred but you and the deceased have the exact same suit on.
• You know they touched that body up cause that shark has one of them legs.
• Not to cause panic or anything but something is leaking out of that casket.