Alabama Grades

Q: Why is Alabama the smartest state in the USA?
A: Because it has 4 A's and one B!

Measure Up

Four friends met up after a game of golf, and while one man went to get drinks, the other three spoke about how successful their sons are:
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a sports car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari 488 GTB.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son runs Gulfstream and just gave his best friend a G650.
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a French Chateau.
Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys.
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.
Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper.
Guy 2: You must be so disappointed.  What caused him to be so unsuccessful in life?
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a new Ferrari, his own private jet, and a French castle from his three boyfriends.

Psychic Phenomena

Do you ever get the vuja day feeling? Not deja vu. This is vuja day: the strange feeling that none of this has ever happened before. - George Carlin