Collection of Insults

• For two cents, I`d give you a piece of my mind -- and all of yours.
• You are the only person I've ever met whose mind is filthy and sterile at the same time!
• You have no trouble making ends meet. Your foot is always in your mouth!
• I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.
• I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
• You must be the arithmetic man -- you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.
• Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was. You started at the bottom -- and it's been downhill ever since.
• You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
• I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
• I heard that you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork.
• I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck, now I have a much lower opinion of you.

What is your IQ?

Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is -- hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there. The day of Bob's party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "200,000" replies the first guest. "Well, that's great," says Bob, let's talk about ethereal astro physics. Bob and this first guest talk about the aforementioned subject for a while. Later in the party, someone else is at the door. "Hi my name is Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?" The new guest responds with "250". "Great," says Bob. "Lets talk about advanced math. Bob and his new guest talk about calculus and statistics for awhile. Much later in the party, after many more guests had arrived and been spoken to by Bob, yet another guest arrives at the door. "Hi, my name's Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?" This time the guest replies after putting some thought into it "five". "Well, that's great," says Bob, "what kind of drumsticks do you use?"

The Big Picture

It's hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.