Anheuser Busch

Helga hangs the wash out to dry, then goes downtown to pick up some dry cleaning. "Gootness, iss hot," she says as the sun beats down on her. She passes by a tavern and says, "Vy nought?" So she sits at the bar. "Bartender," she says. "I vill have unt cold beer, please." The bartender asks, "Anheuser Busch?" "Vell, fine, tanks," she says, "Just ah leetle svetty."

Difference Between Man And Superman

Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

Speedy

Tucker is a slow worker. He gets a job at the local zoo and the keeper, aware of his reputation, tells him to take care of the tortoises. Later, the keeper drops by to see how Tucker is getting on and finds him standing by an empty cage. “Where are the tortoises?” asks the keeper. Tucker shrugs, “I just opened the door and…Whooooosh!”