Tasered At The Airport

Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"

OJ & Pee Wee

Q: What's the difference between O.J Simpson and Pee Wee Herman?
A: It only took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.

Right Turn

A policeman was on patrol when he came upon a line of cars stopped at a light with horns blasting. The light directing that lane of traffic was green. He pulled out of line and stopped alongside of the first car in line to see what the problem was. The car was driven by an elderly woman. He asked her why she was stopped when the light was green. She said, "Oh, because I'm on my way to my sister's house which is that way." and she pointed to the right. The motorcycle cop said, "Well go ahead! The light is green." The elderly woman responded with, "Yes I know, but the sign under the light says 'RIGHT TURN ON RED."