Business One-Liners

• Never bet on a loser because you think his luck is about to change.
• Never buy from a rich salesman.
• Never do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing.
• Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
• Never eat prunes when you are famished.
• Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
• Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
• Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.
• Never invest in anything that eats.
• Never kick a man unless he's down.

Light Bulb - Alien Abduction

Q: How many science fiction readers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. (screw screw screw) Ahh! The light! I'm being abducted!

Geek Booty Call - Palm

You make me wanna use my palm.