Stupid You Are

How to politely tell someone they are stupid.
'Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster.'
 

Life's Truisms

Some of life's truisms...

• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
• The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
• Two wrongs are only the beginning.
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• Change is inevitable... except from vending machines.
• A fool and his money are soon partying.
• Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

Pros And Cons of A Threesome

Pros and cons of a threesome
Advantages

• It can get really weird
• Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings
• There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one
• Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13
• You get to watch your best friends making love
•  You get to get watched making love
• Simultaneously enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed
• You get strange looks when you all go out dancing
• You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms
• Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out
• You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it
• Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left
• Three-person showers are fantastic
• Three-person naked belly laughs are even better
• Three-person kisses are best

Disadvantages 

• It can get really weird
• Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings
• Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off
• You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt
• Trying to find safe places to put your elbows
• You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like
• Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them
• Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks
• Morning breath multiplied by 3
• You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want
• You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want
• You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships
• The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple
• Sorting clothes quickly when the significant other walks in assumes comical proportions
• Now there are two wet spots to avoid.