Weights and Measures

Science Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyrone: Umm, depends on what you need.

Peace and Quiet

"Honk if you love Peace and Quiet"

Cranking

Little Johnny is caught swearing by his teacher. “Johnny, you shouldn’t use that kind of language ,” says the teacher. “Where on earth did you hear such talk?” “My daddy said it,” replies Johnny. “Well, that doesn’t matter,” explains the teacher. “You don’t even know what it means.” “I do, too!” replies Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”