True Marketing Errors

Below are fine examples of what happens when marketing translations fail to reach a foreign country in an understandable way.

• Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose" into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
• Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick" a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".
• Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
• The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."
• When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read English.
• An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of, "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
• In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water."
• Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave," in Chinese.
• When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the Spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."
• The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
• Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."
• When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.
• Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

Buckeyes vs Wolverines!

In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating, "Play like champions today!"
There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says, "Don't forget your HELMET!"

Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer

Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawl means certain death. Dihydrogen monoxide:

1. Is also know as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
2. Contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
3. May cause severe burns.
4. Contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
5. Accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
6. May cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
7. Has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

CONTAMINATION IS REACHING EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS! Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars in property damage in the Midwest, and recently California. Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• As an industrial solvent and coolant
• In nuclear power plants
• In the production of styrofoam
• As a fire retardant
• In many forms of cruel animal research
• In the distribution of pesticides; even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical
• As an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! THE HORROR MUST BE STOPPED! The American government has refused to ban the production and distribution chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation". In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use. IT'S NOT TOO LATE! Act NOW to prevent further contamination!