Bumper Sticker Lines Continued

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.
Editing is a rewording activity.
Make yourself at home ... clean my kitchen. 
Allow me to introduce my selves. 
Better living through denial. 
I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up...
Chaos. Panic. Disorder.
My work here is done Too many freaks not enough circuses. 

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better.
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While.
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years.

Lost Dog

He lost his dog, but he won't put an ad in the newspaper. He says it's no use -- his dog can't read.