Signs And Notices Around England

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.

• Sign in a Laundromat; Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
• Sign in a London department store: Bargain Basement upstairs.
• In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back, or further steps will be taken.
• Outside a farm: Horse manure per pre-packed bag DIY.
• In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
• On a church door: This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is to be kept locked because of the draft, please use side entry.)
• Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
• Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Kidnappers Caught Him

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
January 12, 1993 - San Francisco  police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23,000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom. After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game. Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, "What took you so long?"

Real News Headlines 03

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash
Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter