Bumper Stickers 21

• Gravity - It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
• Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
• Life is too complicated in the morning.
• All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
• The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
• My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ... I'm sure going to miss her.
• Ask me about my vow of silence.
• Today's subliminal message is: ( ) 

Real News Headlines - 2

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

• Stud Tires Out
• Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
• Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
• Eye Drops off Shelf
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
• Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead 

Ice Cream Flavors

A January 1994 Reuters News Service story on Manuel Oliveira's ice cream shop in Merida, Venezuela, reported on his 567 flavors, including onion, chili, beer, eggplant, smoked trout, spaghetti parmesan, chicken with rice, and spinach. He said some flavors fail; he once abandoned avocado ice cream, and tossed out 99 pounds of it, because it wasn't smooth enough.