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Podiatrist
Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
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Procrastination Station
Craigslist Ad:
Are you in need of a designated area at which to not do the things in your life that need doing? Boy, are you in luck. In addition to the standard desk features like top, bottom, and sides, this particular command center comes equipped with a built-in excuse feature. The Bottomless Drawer is guaranteed to lose bills you can't afford, homework you don't understand, and divorce papers you aren't ready to sign. The other drawers are perfect for hoarding popped bubble wrap, bent paperclips, fast food receipts, inexplicably sticky cough drops, and inkless pens. Our treasures have been cleared and cleaned to make room for yours.
For the most excellent price of FREE, you can get in on this sweet, sweet action. Leave this beast in its raw form to lend legitimacy to your Anthropologie faux found decor, or slap on a few coats of pastel Annie Sloan and some "Live Laugh Love" decals to assume your rightful place as a shabby chic Pinterest legend. You hold the power.
Just when you thought it couldn't get better: It's already outside, out front, and ready for loading- no awkward human contact required, except for with the friends that you bring with you in the truck that you *will* need. It is startlingly heavy. Like, spaceship heavy. I'll delete the post when someone has stopped procrastinating long enough to pick it up.
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Appear on Television
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Wednesday, October 21, 1992 In July, Danny Fouts, his wife and her sister, while in New York City to appear on the "Sally Jessy Raphael" show to discuss their arrest for shoplifting their wedding supplies on their wedding day in March, were arrested for stealing from the New York Ramada Hotel the TV show had booked them in for their stay.
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