Headline: Burger King buys Tim Hortons

What's next Burger King, Canada's Parliament Hill? Sounds about right, because so many “ whoppers" are sold to Canadians from there!

Financially Unstable Male

Personals Ad: "Financially Unstable Man - I owe everyone money. If you're not one of my creditor, I'd like to meet you. Send phone, mine was repossessed. Stanley, Box 99."

Signs and Notices

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR