Betty Crocker Passes

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away? The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.

Japanese Banks

According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of letting up. If anything, it's getting worse.  Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song.  Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

Today's Special

A hardware store has a sign that reads: "Today's special." (Then, below it, in pencil): "So's tomorrow."