A Vegetarian With Diahrrea

Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diahrrea?
A: A salad shooter.

Vibrator Or Soybeans?

Q: What does a vibrator and soybeans have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes!!!!

Sans Tomatoes

A lady walks into a grocery store looking for tomatoes and can't seem to find any, so she goes to ask a store clerk.
Lady: Excuse me, could you help me find some tomatoes?
Clerk: Sorry, but we are fresh out.
Lady: You don't understand, I need these tomatoes, could you check in the back for me?
Clerk: I am sure we don't have any, but I will go look.
The clerk goes to the back and comes back.
Clerk: Sorry, there aren't any in the back.
Lady: But you don't understand, I NEED these.
Clerk: Lady, you're just not getting it. Let me explain it to you this way. What do you get when you take the "blue" out of blueberries?
Lady: Berries.
Clerk: Okay, what do you get when you take the 'Straw' out of strawberries?
Lady: Berries.
Clerk: Now what do you get when you take the 'fuck' out of tomatoes?
The lady pauses for a moment...
Lady: There's no fuck in tomatoes!
Clerk: That is what I have been trying to tell you!