At The Counter

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!" The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!" Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts!"

Tomatos

Q: What did the mamma tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: "Catch up!!!"

Spell Ice Cream

This little old lady walks into an ice cream parlor and asks for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream. The man behind the counter says 'I'm sorry, we are all out of chocolate ice cream'. The lady says 'OK, I'll take one scoop of chocolate ice cream in a cup.' The man says 'Ma-am, we are all out of chocolate'. The little old lady says 'OK, then I'll have a single scoop of chocolate in a cone'. The man, a little more irritated this time says 'Ok, lady. Spell van as in vanilla'. The lady says V A N, The man says, 'OK, spell straw as in strawberry'. The lady says S T R A W. The man says, 'OK, now spell fuck as in chocolate'. The lady says there ain't no fuck in chocolate. The man says, 'Lady, that's what I've been trying to tell you all along!