Positions

A young man takes his Chinese girlfriend on a date. After a night of drinking they go back to his place and end up in the bedroom. “What do you want to do?” asks the Chinese girl. “I’m up for anything.” “Okay,” replies the boyfriend. “What I’d really like is some 69.” “Oh forget it!” she replies, “I’m not cooking at this time of night!”

Vegetarian Now

I'm a vegetarian. We worshipped animals when we were growing up 'cause my mother was a cow. I'm kidding -- my father loves that joke.

Secret Spice

Q: Which spice can't keep a secret?
A: Only thyme will tell.