Washcloth

There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says: "Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her. "Well, that's Mommy's washcloth." The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking. So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks: "Mommy what happened to your washcloth?" "Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out. The next day he walked in on his mom & says: "Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"

Mommy Mommy Cannibal

• Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
• Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
• Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
• Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
• Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar. 

Burying Daddy

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.