Mommy Mommy Cannibal

• Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf.
• Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.
• Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sister's guts. Shut up and eat what's put in front of you.
• Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.
• Mommy, Mommy! What is a deliquent child? Shut up and pass me the crowbar. 

Burying Daddy

Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox?
Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.

Dad's On Fire

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up and get the marshmallows!