Jokes about Families - Mother Jokes

No Children

Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.

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Anonymous

Freudian Slip

Woman walks into her psychiatrists office and says: "Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about Freudian slips? Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my mother, and I meant to say, "please pass the salt," but instead I said ,"You god damn bitch, you ruined my life."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Tree of Life

A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment. She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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