Jokes about Families - Man Criticizes Woman

Things Not To Say On Your Anniversary

10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking.
9. Today is our what?
8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together?
7. I thought we only celebrated important events?
6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband.
5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother.
4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's.
3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will.
2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up.
1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love.

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Double Vodkas

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day." "Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay." The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!" On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Sex Jokes (Gay Jokes)
Anonymous

Sex With The Pig

A farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep under his arm. He walks over to his wife, who's laying in bed. "See!" he yells, "this is the pig I have to have sex with whenever you get one of your headaches!" The wife says, "You know that's a sheep under your arm, don't you?" The farmer says, "I wasn't talking to you."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Pig Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Sheep Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Profession Jokes (Farmer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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