Hoyle on Marriage

My marriage is like a game of cards.
It started out with two hearts and a diamond, now all I want is a club and a spade.

Singles Circus

Q: How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don't talk.

Seminars for a woman

SEMINARS FOR WOMEN In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered: 

• General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges
• GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic")
• GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
• GE104: How to Parallel Park
• GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity
• GE106: Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps
• GE107: Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera
• Home Economics: HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Premature
• HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely
• HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely
• HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely
• HE102: How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut Credit Cards in Half")
• HE103: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")
• Interpersonal Relationships: IR101: How to Say "No" With Kindness and Appreciation
• IR102: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching Roller Derby
• IR103: Submission - a Biblical Perspective (prereq: SE101a or b)
• IR104: Marriage - The Number One Cause of Divorce
• IR105: Preposterous Mood Swings (PMS) (formerly "Keeping Your Personal Problems from Ruining Everyone Else's Life Too")
• IR106: Understanding Men's Revulsion to Tampon Commercials (formerly called "We Know What That Little 'Plastic Applicator' is REALLY For!")