Relative Sex

"Dad," asked son, "What's that shriveled up old thing on Grandma?" Dad replied ''That's Grandpa!"

Gross Grosser Grossest

Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: When you open the refrigerator and the rump roast farts in your face.
Q: You want to know what's grosser than that?
A: When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner.
But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.

Geriatric Lovemaking

You know your grandparents are doing it when...

1. A pair of edible Depends is found on bedroom floor.
2. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
3. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn".
4. Granny is found cuffed to her walker.
5. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
6. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.
7. Your "Grandma" is Anna Nicole Smith.
8. You've just seen the photos in the "Beaver Hunt" section of the May issue of Hustler.
9. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
10. Their Craftmatic adjustable bed is set for "doggy style".