Internet Time

Q: Dad, is it true that spending time on the internet makes you dumber?"
A: "omg son lol"

Standing in Line

A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, "Hey, Dad, look how fat that lady is!" "Shhhh, quiet, Son, she'll hear you." "But, Dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shhhhhh, don't say that, Son, it's not nice!" "But, Dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say that, Son, it's not nice and it's rude!" Suddenly the fat lady's cell phone began beeping. "Look out, Dad, she's backing up!"

Careers

Dad: Son, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Son: I want to be a pizza delivery boy or a plumber.
Dad: Stop watching porn son.