Saving Obama

Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see President Obama drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Obama asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Obama asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."

Internet Time

Q: Dad, is it true that spending time on the internet makes you dumber?"
A: "omg son lol"

Meet the Father

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.