How to Speak Southern

How to talk native SOUTHERN in one easy lesson

• Aig - What a hen lays
• Aints - He's got aints in his paints
• Paints - What cha put on your laigs of a mornin
• Arn - Ma's tard of arnin
• Bag - He bagged her to marry him
• Bobbed - A bobbed wire fence
• Bresh - He had a bresh with the law, and the law won.
• Bub - the light bub burned out
• Cheer - What you set in
• Crick - A small stream
• Clum - He sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon
• Chiny - country over in Asia
• Chuch duds - Sunday go-to-meetin clothes
• Core - He got hisself a new Ford core
• Cyow - Animal on Farm
• Deppity - He helps out the shurf
• Dribbed - He dribbed milk on his shirt
• Dainz - Satidy night social
• Ellum - A graceful tree
• Fanger - What you put your rang on
• Faince - Whats round the hawg lot
• Far - What get the brandin arn hot
• Furred - He got furred from his job
• Flar - A rose is a purdy flar
• Frash - Them aigs ain't frash
• Furiners - All non-'bamans
• Further - Hits ten miles further to town
• Grain - She was grain with envy
• Hail - Where bad folks go
• Hep - Poor George, he can't hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
• Hern - It aint hern, it's his'n
• Hilbilly - People in the next county
• Hollar - Whats between the hills
• Hardhand - Got a brend new hardhand
• Tar - His core blew a tar
• Laymun - A sour fruit
• Laig - Most folks have two of them
• Lather - What you climb up
• Liberry - Where you go to check out books for larnin
• Mailk - what you get from cyows
• Mere - What you see your self in
• Minners - Live bait
• Misrus - Married Woman
• Nar - Opposite of wide
• Nayk - Your head sets on it
• Nup - No
• Orrel - Them hinges need orrel
• Ormy - What the sojers go in
• Pank - A light red color
• Parch - Sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow
• Petition - What separate the rooms
• Poke - A paper bag or sack
• Pokey - What the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in Poke
• Salit - A green vegetable
• Puppet - What the preacher is in
• Purdy - She is purdy as a pitcher
• Purt near - Almost; he purt near caught that greased pig
• Rang - You wear it on your fanger
• Rut - That there tree sure has long ruts
• Rah cheer - I was born rah cheer in town
• Rainch - A big cow farm
• Rat - Do it rat now!
• Rench - Rench the soap yourself
• Roont - She plum roont her shoes
• Salary - A stringy vegetable
• Soardeens - Small canned fish
• Shar - A light rain
• Gully Worsher - A medium heavy rain
• Toad strangler - A heavy rain
• Sody Pop - A soft drink
• Sprang - Water out'n the ground
• Shurf - The Shurf put Clem in jail
• Storch - This here aprn has to much storch in it
• Skeered - that plumb skeered me to death
• Thanks - He shore thanks he's smart
• Tho - Tho me the ball
• Thoat - I shore got a sore thoat
• War - A bobbed war fance
• Worsh - Go worsh your face
• Warter - What you worsh your face in
• Yurp - A continent overseas

Extremely Drunk

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. "Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. Then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guinness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later." The man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection. The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test. "Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!"

A New Chrysler

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin production in Canada this year.