Stranded on an Island

A Canadian, an American and a Chinese man are stranded on a deserted island. The Canadian tells the others that he will be in charge of food. American volunteers to be in charge of water and the Chinese man says he will be in charge of supplies. They split up to do their jobs and decide to meet up later. When the Canadian and the American return, there is no sign of the Chinese man. Days pass by, but they still can't find their friend. One day as they are walking along a path, the Chinese man jumps from the bushes and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

Beautiful Girl in Russia

Q: What do you call a beautiful girl in Russia?
A: A tourist.

An Englishman.

The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger. The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall. The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last that long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that one of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others. The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway. After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumped  overboard and sank without a trace.