An Englishman.

The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger. The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall. The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last that long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that one of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others. The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway. After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumped  overboard and sank without a trace.

Polish Fire Prevention Bear

Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.

Brain Operation

This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his doctor and says, "I've just got to marry this woman, I love her so much." So the doctor says, "Well, it's risky, but okay." So into the operating room they go for the brain removal procedure. Later, when the German guy wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are VERY sorry, but we accidentally removed 75% of your brain instead of 50%." The guy looks up and says, "Mama Mia!"