I'll Just Wait 'Till The Garda Get Here

An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,' 'may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: ''no tanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''

Polish National Library

Q: What happened to the Polish National Library?
A: Someone stole the book.

Mexican Pizza Cutter

Q: How do Mexicans cut their pizza?
A: Little Caesars.