Pain During Labor

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Baby Daddy

"Will the father be present during the birth?", asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be,"He and my husband don't get along."

Opposites Attract

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth did you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract'," was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."