Thore!

One night the Norse god Thor was feeling a bit horny so he decided to come down to earth to satisfy his needs. He picked up a good looking woman with a great shape and they went to her apartment.  She only had one small problem, she had a speech impediment, but this didn't affect their sex. They went at it hot and heavy all night long.  Then in the morning Thor had to leave so he decided he should at least tell her his name, so he said to her, "I'm Mighty Thor and I have to leave now." She looked at him and said, "You're thore I'm tho thore I can hardly pith."

Arachnophobia

My girlfriend says she has arachnophobia
How does she know, she has never met anyone from Iraq.

Four Benefits of Breast Milk

A question had appeared in a student's medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed before his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.