No Score

On their first date, Sam asks Rosie what she’d like to do. Rosie replies, “Get weighed!” Sam finds this a curious request but takes her to the automatic scales outside the pharmacy. Then he suggests they go to the movies. After seeing the film Sam again asks Rosie what she wants to do. “Get weighed!” says Rosie. Again Sam takes her to the pharmacy to get weighed then suggests they have a meal. After dinner he asks what she’d like to do now. “Get weighed!” says Rosie. Sam is exasperated by these odd requests and after taking her to the pharmacy for another weighing drops her home. Rosie’s mother greets her at the door. “How was your date, darling?” asks her mother. “Wousy!” replies Rosie.

Loaded For the Date

A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his dick. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's dick really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his dick to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."

Tampon Talk

Q: What did one tampon say to the other?
A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.