The Surgical Error

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.  Shortly after he recovers from his an anesthetic, his surgeon comes in and tells him:  "Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news for you."
"Give me the bad news first, Doc," says the patient.
"I'm afraid that we accidentally cut your balls off during surgery, son."
"Oh my god!" the patient cries, breaking into tears.
"But the good news," the doctor adds, "is that we had them biopsied and you'll be relieved to know that they weren't malignant!"

Ever Had This?

Doctor: Have you ever had this before?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

Obamacare

The medical community is unable to reach consensus on how to replace Obamacare. The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologist's had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow. The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter. "The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.