Medieval Booty Call

You're plague free, I'm plague free; we must be destined to meet.

Sorry, I Can't Do That

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar." "Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm too drunk to do that!"

Regulatory Problem

Woman: I have a problem.
Doctor: Well, are you regular?
Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30.
Doctor: So, what's the problem?
Woman: I don't get up until 9:30.