Sorry, I Can't Do That

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar." "Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm too drunk to do that!"

Regulatory Problem

Woman: I have a problem.
Doctor: Well, are you regular?
Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30.
Doctor: So, what's the problem?
Woman: I don't get up until 9:30.

Manners

A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?".  "There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.  The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that".  "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.  "We do not use language like that here," she said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your 'ear' or whatever."  The man walked out, waited several minutes and reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?".  "There's something wrong with my 'ear'," he stated.  The receptionist nodded approvingly, "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"  "I can't piss out of it," the man replied!