Movie Night

To my girlfriend who suffers from Colrophobia and asked me to choose a movie tonight
I'm sorry, I didn't mean IT.

Psychiatric Hospital Patients

A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: What are you doing? The guy replies: I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot. Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: What are you doing? The guy replies: I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf. Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: What are you doing? The guy replies: I'M FUCKING NUTS!

Light Bulb - Manic Depressives

Q: How many manic-depressives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they keep changing it back and forth between the new and old bulbs.