Psychiatric Hospital Patients

A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: What are you doing? The guy replies: I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot. Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: What are you doing? The guy replies: I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf. Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: What are you doing? The guy replies: I'M FUCKING NUTS!

Light Bulb - Manic Depressives

Q: How many manic-depressives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they keep changing it back and forth between the new and old bulbs.

Case of The Missing Brain

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.