Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Going to Die Jokes

Distraught

The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um... little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her.
The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says, "listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out... Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed." The wife is very happy and thanks the doc profusely.
Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went. The lady blushes, smiles and says, "well, I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin."

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Viagra Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Casket Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor...

Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor. "I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it."
"Ridiculous," said the doctor. "You'd never know if you had the disease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of any kind."
"Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Lone Ranger and Tonto Troubles

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?" The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim." Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?" Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"

Categories: Profession Jokes (Cowboy Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Anonymous
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