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Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Fart Jokes

Clearing It
A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"
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Big Chief, No Fart!
There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief. So, the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief. The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted. The wise man emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wise man says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wise man comes out and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans. At the end of the day the wise man comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"
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Christmas Party
On the night of the school Christmas party, a boy's girlfriend is changing upstairs. The boyfriend is waiting in the living room with the girlfriend's grandpa and her dog, Rover. As the girlfriend is getting ready the boyfriend says to himself, ''Man I really gotta fart, I think I will let a little out.'' So he does and the grandpa yells ''ROVER!'' The boy thinks to himself, ''All right, now he thinks it's the dog. I think I will let a little more out.'' So he does and the grandpa yells again, ''ROVER!'' The boyfriend says to himself, ''All right, now he really thinks it's the dog. I think I will let the rest out.'' So he lets it rip and the grandpa yells, ''Rover, get over here before that guy poops on you!''
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