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Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Fart Jokes
The Bus Bench
There were three guys waiting for a bus on a bench when the first guy farts, 'WHOOOSSHHHHH....'No one brought attention to it. Then suddenly the second guy farts, 'WHOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH........Again, no one thought anything of it until the third guy let one,'PPPPPPPPUUUUUUHHHHHHHH...'The first two guys then looked at the third guy and simultaneously said, "STRAIGHT."
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Ferrari Touch
A lady walks into a Texas Ferrari dealership. Her eyes light up when she sees the new F12 Berlinetta and she walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a red shirted Ferrari employee standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the sales specialist greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you?" Hoping he wasn't there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, how much are you asking for this incredible vehicle?" He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."
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Clearing It
A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangeled Banner! Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he finishes the disgusted bartender says, "Why in the hell did you shit on my bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"
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