Disease / Afflictions Jokes

The best collection of disease and medical affliction jokes will have you laughing till you cry! Humor can help you through tough times and these jokes are the Rx you need. From Alzheimer's to Coronavirus, JokerZ is the place to find disease jokes.

Used Brain

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it's the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$100,000 for a male brain, and $1000 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes)
Anonymous

Aid At An Accident

At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Menstruation / PMS Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Anonymous

Waiting Out the Rush

A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution, takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall. He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape, should use that door. Immediately they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through. However, one patient sits still in the back with a smile on his face. He has not moved at all. The doctor thinks he must be cured. He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, "They don't know that I'm the one who has the key."

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Mental Health Jokes)
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