Married Men Live Longer

Q: Have you ever read that married men live longer than single men?
A: What they don't tell you is that married men are much more willing to die.

Dead Wife?

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: Sex is the same but the dishes are stacking up in the sink!

Boyle Sat in a Belfast Confessional

Boyle sat in a Belfast confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," he said. "I've blown up three hundred miles of English railroad!" "All right, my son," admonished the priest. "For penance, finish off the stations!"