After You

My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local  Verizon Office. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. I wasn't really sure who was next and when we got to the front of the line, the man gestured to me and said, "After you." I smiled at him and said, "No, please, after you. I have all day." Then he shook his head sadly and repeated, "No, sonny, you go on ahead. My doctor says I have at least six months."

Locate your Heart

An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked exactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast. That night she went to the emergency room with a gun shot in the knee.

Old Folks Party Games

The Top Old People Games:
10. Musical Recliners
9. Spin the bottle of Mylanta
8. Hide and Go Pee
7. Simon Says something Incoherent
6. Doc, Doc Goose
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse says Bend Over
4. Kick the Bucket
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
1. Sag, You're It