Recruiting Day

A nurse dies and is greeted in the after life by Saint Peter. He tells her there’s a policy of allowing people to choose whether they want to spend eternity in Heaven or in Hell and she can spend a day in each before making a decision. The nurse goes to Hell for the day where she meets many old friends and colleagues in a sunny garden. They take her for an excellent dinner, and she even meets the Devil , who turns out to be pretty decent. Next day she spends a day in Heaven where she sits around on clouds, sings, and plays the harp . When Saint Peter asks what her choice is, she says, “Well, Heaven was nice, but I had a better time in Hell. So I’d like to go there please.” Her wish is granted and down to Hell she goes. When she get there she finds a desolate wasteland covered in filth and her friends, dressed in rags, collecting garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil walks over to greet her, and the nurse says, “How could this place change so much in a day. Yesterday it was like paradise.” The Devil smiles and says, “Yes, but yesterday we were recruiting – today you’re staff.”

Southwest Airlines

From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 995, to Phoenix. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."

Thirty Times Faster

Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than it does today? We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death.