A Dead Ringer

The Hunchback of Notre Dame croaks so they need to find a new bell-ringer. A guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it. "But you've got no arms... you can't do this job!" says the church leader. The new applicant shouts back - "Sure I can... I'll do it with my mouth!" So the church hires him and he starts his bell-ringing duties the next day. He begins ringing the bell using only his mouth, but the bell is so heavy, it tosses him out the window to the ground and splatters him dead. He's lying dead on the ground and a big crowd gathers around him. "Who is that guy?" one person says. "I don't know says another, but his face sure rings a bell..."

Sleep Deprived

Q: How do you know when your snoring is a problem?
A: You're driving home from work and people riding with you start complaining.

Two Electricians

Two electricians are working up on a pole. A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny, "Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?" The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then turns to the other electrician and says, "Told you it was the neutral."