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Dark Humor Jokes
Cheap Widow
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects, and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'."
Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers, and replies, "In that case, 'Fred Brown died; 1983 Pick-up for sale.'"
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Cannibals and Clowns?
Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: They taste funny!!
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Honesty is the best policy
A very, very rich gentleman dies, leaving his fortune to his only living friends, a Doctor, a CEO, and a Lawyer. But being the eccentric he was, his will stipulated that each one must place their third of the money in his coffin before he is put in his final resting place. The funeral comes and goes. Over a year later the three friends are talking over lunch and the topic of the old man and his strange ways comes into the conversation. The Doctor finally says "I have to be honest, I didn't place ALL of the money into his coffin, I kept five million". Then the CEO states "Well, I have to admit that I too kept some of the cash. Ten million to be exact". The Lawyer glares at the two and says, "I am ashamed of you two, I wrote a check for the full amount!"
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